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The Five Conversations We Need to Have Right Now


Margaret Wheatley is an internationally known bestselling author who has spent a lifetime studying the nature of human interactions and the impact they have. In an exclusive for the BK Communique, she contributed the list below for the five conversations she feels we must have with ourselves as well as with others for the sake of our future:

1. Who is my neighbor? Community is the greatest untapped wealth we have available to us at this time. Do we know who lives nearby? What do we need to do to get to know each other better?

2. How can I cultivate curiosity rather than judgment? It’s not our differences that divide us, but our judgments about each other. Are we willing to be curious to listen to the stories of those we’ve distanced ourselves from?

3. What is my role in creating change? We can no longer wait for leaders or laws to create the changes we need. It’s up to us, and it’s the only way the world ever changes--when a few friends start talking. Am I willing to assume the responsibility for creating the changes I want to see in the world?

4. Am I willing to reclaim time to think? As the world speeds up, we’re forfeiting our most precious human capacities -- reflection, awareness, dreaming, relationship. The only way to restore these capabilities is to slow things down, to reengage in reflection, to pause and truly notice what’s going on.

5. Can I be fearless? Fearlessness is not being free of fear. It means that we do not allow our fears to silence or stop us. What issues and people summon me to be fearless?

Do you agree? Are there other conversations that are equally crucial? Chime in!

39 comments:

David Korten said...

Meg: There is much truth here. I've come increasingly to the conclusion that honest conversation is one of the most revolutionary acts in which any of us can engage. The reason is simple, but profound.

Most of the framing stories of the public culture affirm values and assumptions about reality that we know in our hearts to be false. These false stories remain in place to shape our collective behavior in destructive ways, because we fear rejection if we challenge them. Through conversation we learn that we are not alone and that the fault lies with the false stories. Through an expanding conversation we can shift the public culture.

Jamie Showkeir said...

Hi Meg: I love the notion of cultivating curiosity rather than judgment. Along with that goes the question, "Can I begin to learn how to collaborate with others?" Most everything we have been taught is about competing with others. Collaboration means I must take the other person's side in conversation, argue their point of view in order to gain and show understanding. I must also be able to own that which I am contributing to the current state of the issue at hand.

As you have so wonderfully written to do this we must "turn to one another". Thank you.

SMA said...

A question I am helping to facilitate in Sri Lanka: "What is the nature of the society we live in?"

I see this as an extension of Meg's #1 question: "Who is my neigbor?" Because, ultimately, we are engaged in a "web of mutuality" with ALL human beings and ALL other beings.

The "person who lives nearby" are the neighbors in the office/apartment complex who are physically near me. My "neighbor" also includes the person in Malaysia who sewed the shirt I'm wearing right now. What do I need to do to get to know him/her better? How am I contributing to their well-being (or not)?

Provocative questions...

Sharif Abdullah

Jeevan said...

"Can I be fearless?" is the question that haunts me most. I want to be, but wanting and being are far more apart than we care to acknowledge.

Johanna said...

"What do I have in common with you?"

There are so many forces driving us to focus on our differences; it's really easy to lose sight of our common humanity, and really easy to get discouraged and alienated. I suggest we look for ways to have conversations that draw attention to how we're alike, and how we can move forward toward goals we already naturally have in common.

Bonnie Kaufman said...

What is my role in creating change? This is something that I've spent a lot of time thinking about recently. I graduated from college almost 2 years ago, and I have spent a large amount of that time looking into this question. On campus, creating change was easier and more direct. Through clubs and student movements it was possible for me to involve myself in the things I found most important -- Global Justice, equal rights, and organizational transparency. Here, in 'the real world' it's harder to A) figure out what you WANT to change and B) start or join the conversations that are working towards that goal.

Jann said...

Your new book is wonderful. I am reading parts of it to my college leadership course. Thanks for sharing your insights. Jann Freed

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