Five Ways You Can Tell When Someone Is Lying to You at Work

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Carol Kinsey Goman's latest book addresses the subject of lying in the workplace and how we can detect it and what to do about it.

Spotting deception begins with observing a person’s baseline behavior under relaxed or generally stress-free conditions so that you can detect meaningful deviations. One of the strategies that experienced interviewers use is to ask a series of simple questions while observing how the person behaves when there is no reason to lie. Then, when the more difficult issues get addressed, the interviewer can stay alert for sudden changes in behavior that may indicate deception around key points.


We're never quite sure when we are being lied to at work, but here are five ways that it does happen so that you know to look for them.*


1. Watch for stress signals
For the vast majority of the individuals you work with, the act of lying triggers a heightened stress response. Blood pressure, heart rate and breathing rates all increase.

To relieve stress and anxiety, liars may use pacifying gestures (rubbing their hands together, bouncing their heels, fidgeting with jewelry, etc.) But our first response to stress (before we ready ourselves to fight or flee) is to freeze. So also pay attention if your usually animated colleague suddenly stops gesturing, has a forced or frozen smile, and locks her ankles.



 
2. Look at their eyes

The biggest myth around deception is that liars can’t look you in the eyes. In fact, some don’t (especially small children), but polished liars may actually give too much eye contact.

There are two eye signals that are more accurate signs of dishonesty: 1) Pupils dilate when someone is lying, and 2) Blink rates change – slowing down while someone constructs and tells the lie, and then speeding up (sometimes as much as eight times) afterward.


3. Count to four

Nonverbal cues to all kinds of unconscious giveaways tend to occur in clusters – a group of movements, postures and actions that collectively point to a particular state of mind.

This is crucially true of dishonesty, where one specific cluster of nonverbal signals has been proven statistically to accompany dishonesty. These are: hand touching, face touching, crossed arms, and leaning away. According to research conducted at Northeastern University, if you see these “Telltale Four” being displayed together, watch out!


4. Listen – really listen -- to what people tell you

Because of the mental effort it takes to tell a bald-faced lie (and because it is so stressful), many people prefer to avoid the truth with selective wording. Notice how the responses below never really answer the questions.

Question: Did you take the computer from the supply room?
Answer: Do I look like the kind of person who would take a computer?

Question: Did you leave your last place of employment on good terms?
Answer: I left to pursue other opportunities.

 
5. Stay alert for "undercover" emotions

Smiles are often used as a polite response and to cover up other emotions, but these faked smiles involve the mouth only. Unless someone is expressing genuine pleasure or happiness, it’s hard to produce a real smile – the kind that crinkles the corners of the eyes and lights up the entire face.

There is another way that real emotions emerge, regardless of the effort to suppress them. When someone conceals any strong emotion, chances are his face will expose that information in a split-second burst called a “micro expression.” Difficult to spot because of it happens so quickly, but that instantaneous flash of fear, anger, dismay, joy, etc. is a valid indicator of someone’s genuine emotional state.


* Please remember that none of these verbal or nonverbal cues are absolute proof of lying. (Truthful people can show signs of stress, have a naturally high blink rate, or give round-about answers. And both the liar and truth-teller may exhibit fear -- one of being discovered, the other of not being believed.) Nevertheless, these signals are strong indicators of heightened anxiety, possible deception, or “hot spots” -- areas that you should investigate further.

Five Ways We Lie to Ourselves and Get Ourselves "Stuck."

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Terry Hawkins' new book talks about how difficult it is for us to make changes in our life and how we often resolve to remain in a "pit of despair" than make our lives better and climb out of the pit.

Sometimes we're not even aware of the lies we tell ourselves so that we can have an excuse to not change. Terry reveals just five of these lies below:

Five Things You Probably Did Not Know About Latinos in the US

The Latino population in the United States is growing rapidly and currently accounts for 50.5 million individuals. Yet it remains one of the few cultures that others know very little about or make the most erroneous assumptions of.

Here are five facts about Latinos in the US that you probably didn't know:

1. Latinos Are Highly Educated. Almost one-third of all Hispanics between the ages of 18 and 24 are enrolled in college in undergraduate, professional certification, or graduate programs -- the largest minority group in such programs in the nation.

2. The Majority of Latinos Are Not Immigrants. Over 64% of Hispanics in the United States were born here (and no, the remaining 36% are not here illegally; the majority of them immigrated to the US through legal channels). It should be noted that 1 of 3 non-Latino Americans believes the majority of Latinos are undocumented.

3. Latinos Have the Fastest Growing Purchasing Power of All Ethnic Groups in the Country. The Hispanic community's purchasing power was estimated at $1.2 trillion in 2012 and is predicted to rise to $1.5 trillion in 2015, making it faster than growth of buying power within the African-American, White, and Asian populations.

4. Latinos Grow the Economy in Leaps and Bounds. US Latinos accounted for $2.2 billion worth of e-commerce purchases in the first quarter of 2012 alone, accounting for 34.8% of the growth in technology and telecommunications industries in the same time period.

5. The Majority of Latinos Vote. Latinos make up 16% of the US's population. In 2012, 10% of all voters were Latinos. Keep in mind that the remaining 6% also consist of those who are either too young to vote or have residency but not citizenship and you can get an idea of the tremendous voting base here.



All information is based on data from the Selig Center for Economic Growth, AHAA Adspend Research, and the Pew Hispanic Center.

Four Ways That Diseases Over "There" Impact Us Over "Here"

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A lot of people make the mistake of assuming that poverty and disease in other nations is not our problem, after all, how can what is happening over there impact us over here? It seems that the only reason for aid and assistance in diseased and blighted areas globally is a humanitarian or ethical one.

However, there are some very pragmatic reasons (and not just ethical ones) why we should work to eradicate disease and improve healthcare globally -- because not doing so directly impacts us in the West. Here are just four such reasons:

1. Disease Knows No Borders. Diseases do not keep to geographical borders nor limit themselves to particular locales. This has always been the case -- remember that the Bubonic Plague started with a flood in China, and SARS (which is back in the news) has also traveled across continents to arrive on our shores. Treating diseases at their points of origin protects all of us in the long run.

2. Disease Impacts Economies. Consider that a lot of the factory and production work as well as crops and food products come from different parts of the globe. A simple outbreak of just the flu could be deadly in communities with no access to basic antibiotics, resulting in a hefty chunk of the workforce becoming ill and bringing production and harvesting to a standstill. This directly impacts our supply of goods and the prices escalate accordingly. Everyone (including us) loses.

3. Diseases Mutate. Diseases often mutate into hardier strains that are more resistant to medications. It is important to counter potential diseases in their infancy before they have a chance to mutate. A disease that may not pose a threat to anyone in the West is often ignored, but that disease can, if left untreated, mutate into different strains that are resistant even to modern medicine. A lack of attention to early incidents of AIDS led to a mutation and strain that to this day eludes successful treatment.

4. Disease Causes Political Chaos. The rampant spread of a disease promotes instability in many regions. Blame is thrown about and inevitably sides start blaming one another while claiming they each have access to treatment or a cure (often a false promise). The resulting political unrest can be deadly and violent in many cases. In this day and age, instability in one nation promotes to instability in many given how we are all economically connected.

Five Lessons from Yoga for Your Work Life

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In their new book, Maren and Jamie Showkeir show how we can take the same principles that guide Yoga as a healthful and mindful physical practice and apply them off the mat in our work lives.

Yoga is translated in Sanskrit as “yoke” or union, and is a practice designed to keep you connected to something larger than yourself —much in the way work does. While millions are familiar with the physical practice, it is a fraction of what yoga offers. Indian sage Patanjali outlines Eight Limbs of yoga in the Sutras, written between 100 BCE and 500 BCE. 

Based on this ancient wisdom, here are five pragmatic practices for the modern workplace. 

1. Breathing: Pranayama, the Fourth Limb, is about the power of breath control. Yogic breathing techniques can help you alter your mood, increase energy, decrease mental distress, develop patience, enhance focus, expel stress, and heighten clarity. One executive we know takes a deep inhale-exhale before answering a question, creating space that allows him to respond more thoughtfully.

2. Meditation: Of the Eight Limbs, the Seventh has been most scrutinized by researchers. Meditation, or dhyana, gives you the means to establish clarity around your intentions and your actions. It positively affects the neural pathways governing compassion, self-awareness and memory. It can ease depression and help with anger management. Many well-known corporations such as Aetna, Apple, General Mills, Google, Prentice-Hall Publishing and others recognize the benefits of this practice and found ways to integrate it into the workday. A daily time investment in this practice, even if it’s only a few minutes, can reap big benefits.

3. Non-stealing: Asteya is one of the five moral precepts that comprise yoga’s First Limb (yamas). Non-stealing brings to mind pilfering money or “stuff,” but more valuable things can be stolen, such as time, reputation and dignity. Consider the myriad ways time theft happens at work: Tardiness to meetings, wordy emails, lack of preparation and general procrastination. Gossiping at work steals time and is a misappropriation of reputation and dignity. Broadening your concept of theft is not only a moral issue, it’s practical — how much more efficient and effective can you be if you mindfully practice asteya?

4. Focusing: The Sixth Limb, dharana, is about training your mind with the same vigor and dedication that you exercise your body. Practicing dharana helps you avoid distractions and do-overs that eat into your productivity, including mindless fretting about things that are out of your control. Begin by abandoning the mythology of multitasking.  Research shows it’s impossible and worse, decreases your productivity.

5. Contentment: The Second Limb also is comprised of five precepts, called niyamas, that offer a framework for personal conduct. Santosha is about cultivating contentment regardless of what life hands you. If you feel yourself getting attached to an idea or outcome at work, the practice reminds your that control over events or people is an illusion. It doesn’t mean you don’t give work your best effort. Of course you do, while recognizing that your response to any outcome is a choice you make. Not only does fostering non-attachment keep you sane, it encourages openness to the kind of unconventional thinking that sparks creativity and innovation.

Five Negatives That Are Actually Positives for Introverts

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In her latest book, Jennifer Kahnweiler explains how introverts can influence organizations and people using strengths that they may not even have realized they have. One of the reasons introverts don't realize their strengths is because the pro-extrovert environment in which we operate which fails to see the shortcomings of certain extrovert behaviors.

Here are five qualities that introverts lack, which at first may seen like shortcomings, but as these points show, are ultimately strengths that give introverts a distinct advantage over their extroverted counterparts:

1. Introverts often lack the sort of confidence that others have to walk into a meeting or presentation knowing that they will be able to win over the others.  

Why is this good? The problem with having supreme confidence is that you're less aware of potential blind spots -- spots that others will raise and question. Because introverts don't have that ease of confidence, they prepare very carefully for all presentations and debates, which makes them far more likely to be able to anticipate and counter objections.


2. Introverts prefer writing to communicate (which seems more passive) over speaking (which is a more active form of communication).  

Why is this good? Being able to speak is a wonderful gift, but it is also one that occurs very much in the present. When we're talking, we can express ideas and concepts but we are still doing it on the fly and so our debates and exchanges are limited to what we can think up at the present time. Introverts tend to favor writing, which may seem ineffective in comparison, but in fact it better than speaking. When we write, we are able to focus our ideas, form cogent arguments, and address all relevant points carefully. We're also able to edit ourselves to minimize misunderstanding (think of how often you've said the wrong thing as compared to how often you wrote the wrong thing).


3. Introverts don't talk much, which can lead to awkward silences and lulls in conversation.  

Why is this good? Just because they're not talking, it doesn't mean they're ignoring you. In fact, what introverts do best is listen. Introverts prefer listening, which makes them better at understanding others and not seeing everything from their own point of view (which can be a terrific blind spot). You'll notice that all of those people who are often called "good listeners" are often introverts.


4. Introverts are not skilled at small talk and seem ill at ease around it.  

Why is this good? Small talk serves a purpose, but often it can get in the way of a substantive conversation or topic. Because of their single-minded focus, introverts are less likely to be distracted and more likely to stay on topic and on purpose, which is how things get done and people get convinced.


5. Introverts are wary of social media and are cautious about sharing a lot via social media outlets.  

Why is this good? This is an obvious one if you have ever had to deal with those people who want everyone to know what they had for breakfast or want the whole world to know they are experiencing indigestion. Social media has devolved into self-obsession for many people but thankfully not for introverts. Because introverts are not fans of over-sharing, they use social media sparingly and more thoughtfully. This also means that when they do use social media, people notice.

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Four Biggest Strengths That Can Ultimately Weaken Leaders

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We’ve all heard the advice to “Play to your strengths.” In their new book Fear Your Strengths: What You Are Best at Could Be Your Biggest Problem, leadership experts Robert Kaplan and Robert Kaiser challenge current thinking and warn readers of a glaring oversight in the field of leadership development—namely the lack of attention paid to the danger of leaders taking their strengths too far.

Most leaders, they’ve found, are “lopsided”: they favor certain qualities to the exclusion of others without realizing it. Here, Kaplan and Kaiser present four common scenarios where leaders overplay one leadership strength to the exclusion of another:

1. Strength: Powerful Influencer; Weakness: Ineffective Enabler

Example: A leader who is so adept at influencing others others that it is a daunting task for others to contend with him. Forceful leadership—a good thing when used in correct proportion—can render leaders unable to elicit, nurture, and benefit from other input in the organization if their team seeks to agree with them rather than bring their best thinking.

2.Strength: Skilled Empowerer; Weakness: Poor Enforcer

Example: The quintessential “team player” who is a great listener and excels at making decisions by consensus can do such a good job at giving other people a voice that his or her own voice gets lost. An over-emphasis enabling others and being respectful can degenerate into ineffectual niceness and a tolerance for situations that aren’t working.

3. Strength: Strategic Mind; Weakness: Weak on Operations

Example: A visionary leader highly regarded for strategic brilliance who can dazzle others with big, bold moves but lacks experience with operations (or worse, downplays its importance). A leader who overplays strategic leadership often ignores a chorus of voices urging him to pay more attention to operational detail, in effect, setting a direction without the executional ability to drive results.

4. Strength: Process Thinker; Weakness: Restricts New Thinking

Example: A manager whose trademark style is practical, disciplined, and organized has a superior ability to get “under the hood.” However, his running of the day-to-day is so tightly structured that he has a tendency to to cut off discussion of new ideas. A disciplined focus on process details without a broader view inside and outside of the organization can morph into a pre-occupation with short-term thinking.